Your first dance

A well-chosen first dance can be one of the most moving – or entertaining – parts of your wedding day. But how do you go about choosing that special song? Hear about some WeddingPathers’ choices or read on for further ideas.

Tips for first-dance success

Some couples love the idea of cutting up the rug in front of their wedding guests; others are terrified at the thought. Whether you are at one of these extremes or somewhere in between, the perfect first dance can be yours.

Most couples choose a first-dance song that is special to them: perhaps a song they listened to when they first met, or a romantic song that reflects their feelings for each other. Other choices could be a song that fits with the theme of your wedding, or a lighthearted tune that mirrors your personalities and will make your wedding guests chuckle. There’s nothing wrong with a funny first dance!

Know the lyrics. Before you make your final choice of first dance song, be sure to listen to – and preferably also read – the words of the song. It’s amazing how many romantic-sounding songs turn out to be less appropriate than you might think. For example, couples have been known to choose 'Every Breath You Take' by The Police – allegedly about a stalker – or 'Perfect Day' by Lou Reed, about the singer’s heroin habit.

Consult with your wedding DJ. If you are having a DJ play your first dance, make sure they have the song in their collection. This should be discussed well in advance, as should the rest of the evening's play list. To search for a DJ or musician in your area, check out WeddingPath’s Wedding Directory.

Having a wedding band or singer? If you’re hoping your wedding band will play your first dance song, don’t automatically assume that they are familiar with the track you want, or will be willing to learn it. You should also consider whether the line-up of the band works for the song you have chosen. For example, if you are having a jazz quartet, they may not be able to play Aerosmith's 'Don't Wanna Miss A Thing'.

Classical musicians? If you are having a classical group, the musicians will probably be able to sight-read most pieces of music. However, you should discuss your requirements in advance as even good sight-readers will sound better if they have rehearsed the song.

Prepare your performance. Of course, it’s not all about the song itself; your guests will be watching your dance intently. It’s fine just to sway gently to your chosen song, but it’s still worth having a little practice beforehand. Couples who are a little more ambitious could always take a few dance lessons. Many dance teachers do special lessons for couples getting married – search online to find someone suitable. Another fun option is to have a dance teacher or two come to your wedding and give everyone lessons. You can start the evening with a group lesson and, when you are warmed up and the ice is broken, clear the floor and start your first dance. Read what WeddingPath members say in this First Dance forum thread.

Pick the right time. Everyone’s wedding is different and there’s no right or wrong point in the reception to schedule your first dance. However, as with every aspect of wedding planning, it’s a good idea to think carefully about when the first dance best fits in to your wedding, rather than adding it as an afterthought. You should also make sure that there is an announcement just before the dance so that guests won’t miss out or chat throughout the whole thing.

Popular choices

Here are a few popular first-dance songs as suggestions. Remember, listen to the lyrics and make sure they are appropriate for you.

Sonny & Cher - I Got You Babe

Stevie Wonder - You Are The Sunshine Of My Life

Robbie Williams - Angels

Frank Sinatra - I Get A Kick Out Of You

Harry Connick Jr - It Had To Be You

Bryan Adams - Everything I Do (I Do It For You)

Madness - It Must Be Love

Lonestar - Amazed

Van Morrison - Have I Told You Lately

Sade - Your Love Is King

Beatles - Something

James Blunt - You're Beautiful

Frank Sinatra - As Time Goes By

Savage Garden - Truly Madly Deeply

Elvis Presley - Can't Help Falling in Love

Take That - How Deep Is Your Love

Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You

Top Image courtesy of First Dance

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Choosing a wedding venue

Some people plan their whole day around their dream wedding location, while others start with a totally open mind. Either way, choosing your wedding venue is one of the most important wedding planning decisions you'll make. Here are some of the points to consider.

Two parts to every wedding

The first thing to take into account when choosing a wedding location is that there are likely to be two parts of your wedding to organise – the wedding ceremony and the wedding reception. As regards the ceremony, a church wedding is still the favourite choice for many couples, and most have a particular church in mind. In this case, the reception must be planned around the wedding service. Factors such as ease of transport from service to reception will be important when planning your church wedding.

If, on the other hand, you're thinking about a civil wedding, you have the option of choosing a venue that will host both your wedding ceremony and your wedding reception. If this is what you are hoping for, you will need to choose a venue that is licensed for marriage ceremonies. This may come with a higher price tag than non-licensed wedding venues, but has the benefit of minimising the amount of travelling involved for you and your wedding guests.

Size of your wedding

The type of wedding you have will depend partly on how big it will be, so here are some things to think about before approaching wedding venues:

Number of wedding guests. It may sound obvious but many venues will not be able to magic up extra space from nowhere if you add 20 extra guests at the last minute. You should have a good idea of numbers before you start looking at venues.

Sit-down or stand-up wedding reception? A formal meal will obviously require more space than a stand-up buffet, so a venue whose seated capacity is 100 might well be able to accommodate 200 for a canapé reception. Which do you want?

How big is your wedding band? Bands and other forms entertainment can take up a large amount of space, as can a dance floor, so decide when and where you want the entertainment to take place, and check with the venue that this can be done in the space available.

A small wedding venue can be beautiful. Of course you should make sure that your guests are not squashed in like sardines, but atmosphere-wise it can be almost as bad for a small number of people to be rattling around in a huge, high-ceilinged reception room. Make sure your venue is not too big for your needs.

A different wedding venue

Any number of buildings can make a perfect wedding reception venue, but here are some of the most popular options:

Historic wedding reception venue. Castles, country houses and stately homes are among the locations many dream of for their big day. If your budget can stretch to it, this offers a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to enjoy the use of a stunning building.

Hotel wedding reception. There are so many different types of hotel that there’s likely to be something for everyone, from traditional to ultra-modern. Having accommodation on the spot is, of course, a big plus.

Marquee wedding reception. If you have access to spacious gardens or other outdoor space, a marquee could be worth considering. Many people are surprised at how pricey it can be to hire a marquee for their wedding, but the plus side is that you can take control of wedding catering and could save a considerable amount by providing your own alcohol.

Sports or social club wedding reception. Different types of club premises can be perfect for a wedding reception. Do plenty of research and you could find one that’s in a stunning location, too. For example, some sailing or rowing clubs have picturesque waterside views, and can often be hired at a reasonable price, certainly compared to other popular wedding venues.

Restaurant or pub wedding reception. Food and drink are among the main ingredients for a successful wedding reception, so where better to head than to a lovely restaurant or pub? Bear in mind that you’re more likely to find a good match if your wedding party is smaller, and if you’re lucky you might even be able to escape the heavy costs that are often quoted as soon as you mention the ‘w’ word!

Wedding venue checklist

Finally, here’s a list of points to consider about any wedding venue you have in mind:

Wedding prices. Over-inflated costs might mean you compromising on other aspects of the wedding. Whether it’s sky-high drinks prices or hidden extras in the small print, you don’t want to feel exploited, so vote with your feet if you feel it’s not worth it.

Wedding venue staff. Do they seem experienced and professional? Flexibility is another key attribute. Are they willing to adapt to your needs? This will be a major factor in how smoothly your day runs.

Wedding venue facilities. Is the venue suitable for guests with a disability, and can it provide appropriate seating for the elderly and/or young children?

Wedding guest accommodation. Is there a reasonable range of accommodation within easy access of the venue? You can help determine this by setting up a free wedding website with WeddingPath. This includes a useful WeddingMap Page that tells you – and your wedding guests – about available accommodation near your wedding venue.

Wedding transport. Is there enough parking for guests who drive, and decent transport links for those who don’t?

Wedding venue restrictions. Does the venue impose limitations that could negatively affect your plans? Some stipulate no loud music after a certain time, others don’t like confetti or candles, and certain (usually historical) venues forbid high-heeled shoes for fear of their flooring being damaged.

Wedding photography. Plenty of natural light in your venue will mean better pictures. You might also want to check that there are plenty of appealing outdoor spots close at hand. For advice on choosing a photographer who will make the most of your wedding venue, read this useful Wedding photography article.

Wedding decoration. Are table linen, flowers, place cards and other decorations included in the quoted price, or will you have to provide your own?

Wedding extras. Check the availability of extras such as a cake stand and cake knife. Many wedding venues will lend you these, but having to hire them separately adds to your hassle and your wedding expenses.

To find out about specific wedding venues in your chosen area, browse WeddingPath’s Wedding Directory, which includes details of hundreds of different wedding venue.

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Choosing your wedding dress

Pam Black of function resource venue Celebration House offers her advice on selecting a wedding dress, and reveals the ongoing fashion influence of a royal bride of the past.

Wearing white

One of my all-time favourite wedding books, 'Legendary Brides', contains beautiful pictures of Queen Victoria's wedding in February 1840. According to author Letitia Baldrige, Queen Victoria had no idea of the fashion trend she was starting when, for her marriage to Prince Albert, she decided to wear a white satin, lace-trimmed wedding gown with a lace veil held in place by an orange-blossom wreath.

Up until then, brides had always worn their best dresses (whatever the colour) for their weddings. What I find fascinating is that Victoria's wedding gown, with its form-fitting, off-the shoulder bodice and full skirt and train, is a style still worn by many brides today.

The Queen didn't forget the bling factor either: diamonds glittered in her hair, a diamond necklace graced her neck and she also wore a sapphire-and-diamond brooch – a gift from Prince Albert – over her heart.

Her 12 bridesmaids were dressed in ballerina-style tulle dresses trimmed with creamy white roses – a style which, interestingly, featured prominently on the catwalk at a London wedding show I recently attended.

Your style

As regards your own wedding style, you will be receiving a good deal of advice from all corners on the subject of your dress. Always remember, however, that your final choice should express your taste, not that of the designer, your mother, your sister or your best friend.

Spend time looking through wedding magazines, which can help you get an idea of what styles you like, but when visiting a designer, go with an open mind. I have known of brides who were sure they wanted a slim-line wedding gown but have changed their minds in favour of a full-skirted one, having tried on ones in this style.

Always remember that your final choice should express your taste, not that of the designer, your mother, your sister or your best friend.

The best advice I have heard is that your dress should be a glamorised version of your everyday style - if you are not one for frills and flounces, don't feel you need a wedding dress in this style. Likewise, if you are an incurable romantic, you will probably not feel at ease in a classically designed garment.

You should also take into account the kind of wedding you plan to have. A relaxed, casual wedding on a beach will require a very different style of dress to a formal evening affair.

The fit and the fabric

You will be spending a lot of time in the dress, so it is vital that you feel relaxed and comfortable in it. You should be able to sit, kneel and dance comfortably while wearing it – remembering that for an evening wedding, this could be for up to eight hours!

Bear this in mind when choosing a full-skirted dress with petticoats, and also beware of too-tight bodices with bones (you must be able to breathe freely!) or an ill-fitting strapless top – there’s nothing worse than a bride continually tugging at her dress or looking unrelaxed in it.

Wedding dresses vary enormously in both style and price and, when you take into account the number of metres of fabric used in some of the more bouffant styles, as well as the time required to meticulously sew on hundreds of beads, you will soon realise what you are paying for. Incidentally, it took 100 lacemakers 6 months to make the exquisite lace required for Queen Victoria's dress!

It is equally important to be honest with yourself, and to choose a style that suits both your figure type and personality. If you are fairly plump or 'roundish', try to cut down on frills and flounces. Too many frills and a wide skirt should also be avoided if the groom is slightly built, as the bride could look a bit overpowering next to him!

Making or hiring a dress

If your budget doesn't run to a designer dress, there are many other options open to you. Some designers offer 'off-the-peg' garments for sale and others may make the dress for you and charge you a hiring fee only. (The garment is then handed back to them after the wedding.)

If you are having your outfit specially made for you, or even if you plan to hire one, it is important to wear the bra and petticoat you intend wearing on the day (as well as your chosen shoes), whenever you go for a fitting.
It is also a good idea not to wear much make-up at fittings, to avoid the risk of marking your dress.

Head dress

If you are planning to have a veil, practise wearing it around the house ' if it is long, this will help you get used to the feel of it. Always ensure that before placing it on your head, the short piece is uppermost, making it easy to cover your face when you enter the wedding venue, and thereby avoiding a last-minute panic.

Choose a head-dress that is light and easy to wear or, if the groom is the same height as you or shorter, don’t wear one at all if you don’t want to tower over him. Rather, choose something flatter, or settle for a few flowers.

Jewellery

Jewellery should enhance, not detract from, your outfit, and if you don't normally wear lots of it, now is not the time to do so. Your earrings should be tried on with the dress beforehand, with your hair done in the style you plan to wear.

Don't forget to move your engagement ring to your right hand before the service, so that your wedding ring can go on first.

Questions to ask your dress designer

• Do you charge for a consultation?
• How much time do you need to make my dress?
• Do you require a deposit?
• What is your cancellation policy?
• Do you levy a fee for trying on dresses?
• If I hire a dress, is there any extra charge for alterations?
• How many fittings will I need?
• How long before the wedding will I receive my dress?
• Are you able to provide outfits for the entire retinue?
• What accessories do you supply?
• Can you make a suit for the groom?

Now for the fun part: find out about wedding-dress suppliers in your area by browsing the WeddingPath Wedding Directory!

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