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Cruiseee
Margos Best Friend:
676 posts
Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 1 entry
Location: London - UK
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Posting Time: 23 May 2009 at 6:21PM
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Edited by Cruiseee, 23 May 2009 at 06:22PM:
Hey, I'm feeling a bit down at the moment & a little confused. I should be feeling happy, coz my bridesmaids dresses came in & we all went to see them today & got the girls to try them on.
However, on the drive there I overheard my two closest friends (who are bridesmaid & maid of honour) talking about how they and their boyfriends going to Chessington tomorrow. They talked about it the whole way there and the whole way back, and even when I made a friendly comment about it they didn't offer any invite to come along. Given that they are my closest friends, I felt a little hurt.
What makes this worse is that this isn't the first time they've done this. They've been out so many times without me and I'm constantly hearing about how they've been here & there, and how they they met up the other night, and the other weekend, and how they're planning to go on holiday together with their boyfriends, etc.
It's really confusing me, coz as close as the 3 of us are now, there was a time when I was the 'middle man', meaning that they were each my best friends, but weren't really friends with each other (except when we all met up with other friends as a group). Now I'm just feeling left out.
I can't deny that I'm a little jealous, but mostly I feel hurt, and I really can't understand why they've stopped asking me out.
[I'm a wife now! hehe! :-)]
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crazybird1979
Margos Best Friend:
554 posts
Joined: 11 Aug 2008
Already Married!
Blog: 0 entries
Location: - UK
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Posting Time: 24 May 2009 at 3:30PM
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hiya  sorry to hear about that i can imagine how i would feel and  off would be an understatement! I think you need to speak to them individually and see why its happening your not causing a confrontation just mention you dont feel like you spend any time together anymore and see what they say.
Perhaps they dont ask as they assume your busy with the wedding planning or skint maybe? I dunno and the only way your gonna find out is by asking them.
Good Luck
Adele XX
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Cruiseee
Margos Best Friend:
676 posts
Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 1 entry
Location: London - UK
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Posting Time: 24 May 2009 at 7:02PM
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Edited by Cruiseee, 24 May 2009 at 07:04PM:
Edited by Cruiseee, 24 May 2009 at 07:02PM:Thanks Adele. This is it, I want to question them about it, but am struggling to find the right words to express myself without sounding like a sad jealous lady! And if I did bring it up, no doubt they'd start inviting me places, but then I'd feel like they're only asking because I moaned about it which is not what I want. Perhaps, as you say, they think I'm busy or skint, but the fact that they don't even ask me to find out is a little rude. What I can't believe is how they were talking about it in front of me as if I wasn't even there! And actually at one point in the shop, they were in their bridesmaids dresses & my bridesmaid started squealing with excitement & hugged my maid of honour. My maid of honour said 'I know I can't wait for the wedding' and my bridesmaid said 'no, I'm excited about tomorrow (chessington)'!  Honestly, sometimes I wonder about my friends. But I'm not one for confrontations, which is a struggle because I believe people should talk about their problems rather than keep it in. It's just that I'm not very good with words & it usually comes out wrong!
[I'm a wife now! hehe! :-)]
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kirkychic
WeddingPath Big Sister:
3546 posts
Joined: 10 Jul 2007
Already Married!
Vendor Votes: 1
Blog: 5 entries
Location: W. Lothian - UK
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Posting Time: 24 May 2009 at 9:25PM
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 are either of these girls married, engaged or even with anyone as it sounds to me like plain old fashioned jealousy hunny. You are getting married and they arent so they have developed this common bond so they still have someone to go out with when you are cuddled up with hubby. Its very immature but human nature, I would say something though next time, be very upfront and say why was I not invited. If they have indeed made assumptions that is your opportunity to put them right.  dont let it worry you too much us girls can be very irrational at times and thoughtless.
[loves her hubby & being Mrs Ward]
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xrheax
WeddingPath Big Sister:
4881 posts
Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Already Married!
Vendor Votes: 3
Blog: 8 entries
Location: Scotland - UK
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Posting Time: 25 May 2009 at 9:21AM
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I disagree sorry!!!...and I'm going to play devil advocate too....(sorry again)
I think it's fab that they have forged a friendship. How awful would it be if they disliked each other, it wold be very very stressful!
I can't decide if they are talking about going out together in front of you because...
1) They are being a bit mean
2) They are genuinely excited about going out, and don't even realise it's a problem for you!
I sincerely hope it's the latter. Perhaps you should organise a day out, and invite them both. this seems like a great oppourtunity for you to do some really girly stuff with them. They maybe don't know you feel like this, or assume you have something better on.
I always try to see the best in people, and I think if they have struck up a friendship that's great. I do agree they are being a little impolite, but if you take the bull by the horns and include yourself it could be good fun, and you all win
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kirkychic
WeddingPath Big Sister:
3546 posts
Joined: 10 Jul 2007
Already Married!
Vendor Votes: 1
Blog: 5 entries
Location: W. Lothian - UK
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Posting Time: 25 May 2009 at 12:39PM
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 you are far too nice for your own good Rhea
[loves her hubby & being Mrs Ward]
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Cruiseee
Margos Best Friend:
676 posts
Joined: 27 Mar 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 1 entry
Location: London - UK
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Posting Time: 25 May 2009 at 4:39PM
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Well kirky, they actually do have long-term boyfriends. And I'm pretty sure that once my wedding is over, one of them will be engaged shortly after. And When they go out, they usually go with their boyfriends too.
And Rhea, you are too nice!
Definately pleased that they get on well with each other, it's just that I'm left feeling like I've been pushed aside.
I like your way of thinking though, arranging more days out together myself. Thanks.
[I'm a wife now! hehe! :-)]
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paulandjenniewebster
Chief Bridesmaid:
138 posts
Joined: 10 Feb 2009
Countdown: 159 days
Blog: 2 entries
Location: Bolton - UK
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Posting Time: 13 Jun 2009 at 12:39PM
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I had a best friend until she started going to this pub called The Vic in Horwich anyway she told me a pack of lies like the baby was her boyfriends but really it was Frank's the landlord of the pub then she accused me of telling lies when me and my friend saw him in Horwich RMI and she never spoke to me ever again. After all I have done for her broght her baby cloths spent £30 and my sister gave him clothes and toys.
[J.L.Smith ]
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gemsiegirl
WP Maven:
297 posts
Joined: 12 Jul 2007
Countdown: 124 days
Blog: 0 entries
Location: Birmingham - UK
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Posting Time: 19 Jun 2009 at 9:49AM
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Just cant help but wonder have these girls got closer since you asked them to be your bridesmaids? If so im wondering if all the meetings up are possible to talk about plans about wedding/hen??? Just a thought.
I think just ask them straight out, these are your close friends so you should share your feelings. I bet they will be surprise to hear how upset you have been, and its not their intention. There is alot of secrets and meet up with my bridesmaids, and talk in front of me, but dont tell me, and giggle. Ive now realized its because of treats they are planning for me. -bless. They have become closer too. The main thing they have in common is you, remember you are important to them, so just ask. I wouldnt want any of my mates to feel im pushing them out, especially if they asked me to be their bridesmaid, how lovely it is to be asked, and to be honored as a friend this way. If you dont ask, you wont get. dont miss out on all the fun, as you are too worried thinking they only ask you out because you asked. Give them a chance to explain, it will put your mind at rest, and stop you thinking all sorts about your friendship. Good luck
Much love
x Gem x
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