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kirkychic
WeddingPath Big Sister:
1576 posts
Joined: 10 Jul 2007
Countdown: 351 days
Blog: 1 entry
Location: W. Lothian - UK
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Posting Time: 15 May 2008 at 6:38PM
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Hot for you 
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.'
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
[Carol xxx Mrs Ward 2B]
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Orla
WeddingPath Big Sister:
2194 posts
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 82 entries
Location: Cadiz - xx
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MrsAimz
WeddingPath Big Sister:
2603 posts
Joined: 02 Feb 2007
Already Married!
Blog: 24 entries
Location: Inverness - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 10:37AM
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 sorry Orla, I'm forgetting about you lovely pregnant WPers 
The Corsa (as well as the old Nova and Renault Clios) is the car of choice among many 'boy racers' who seem to have nothing better to do but drive up and down high streets in towns and cities across the UK, with happy hardcore blaring from the stereo, for hours on end. No offence intended to those who drive these cars sensibly  
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MrsHimself
WeddingPath Big Sister:
3354 posts
Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Already Married!
Blog: 4 entries
Location: my house - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 3:07PM
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A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at this woman and all his
professionalism went out the window.
He immediately told her to undress. After she had
disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing
so, he asked her, 'Do you know what I'm doing?'
'Yes,' she replied, 'you're checking for any abrasions
or dermatological abnormalities.' 'That is right,' said
the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. 'Do
you know what I'm doing now?' he asked.
'Yes,' the woman said, 'you're checking for any lumps or
breast cancer.' 'Correct,' replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual
intercourse with her. He asked, 'Do you know what I'm doing
now?'
'Yes,' she said. 'You're getting herpes; which is why I came
here in the first place.'
[www.rheaweddingdesigns.webs.com]
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kirkychic
WeddingPath Big Sister:
1576 posts
Joined: 10 Jul 2007
Countdown: 351 days
Blog: 1 entry
Location: W. Lothian - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 4:26PM
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poetic justice 
[Carol xxx Mrs Ward 2B]
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StuartnLinsyMcRae
WeddingPath Big Sister:
2182 posts
Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Already Married!
Blog: 3 entries
Location: herts - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 4:38PM
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haha thanks girls you have taken my mind off things which i really needed!!
[ Linsy xx]
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melanddarren
WeddingPath Big Sister:
1118 posts
Joined: 09 May 2007
Profile Updated!
Countdown: 8 days
Blog: 0 entries
Location: East Sssx - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 5:57PM
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Rhea that one is so funny!
thankyou too as i needed a laugh today!
xxx
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MrsHimself
WeddingPath Big Sister:
3354 posts
Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Already Married!
Blog: 4 entries
Location: my house - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 6:25PM
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 Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
[www.rheaweddingdesigns.webs.com]
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KnD
Margos Best Friend:
685 posts
Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 1 entry
Location: Moray - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 7:43PM
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An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice
in reviving her husband's libido.
'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor.
'Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.'
'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. It's
when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went.'
It wasn't a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired
as to her progress. The poor dear exclaimed, 'Oh, faith, bejaysus and
begorrah!
T'was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!'
'Really? What happened?' asked the doctor.
'Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect
was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye
and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one swoop of his arm, he
sent me cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and
took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare,
I tell you, an absolute nightmare!'
'Why so terrible?' asked the doctor, 'Do you mean the sex your husband
provided wasn't good?'
'Feckin jaysus, 'twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm
sittin here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again!
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KnD
Margos Best Friend:
685 posts
Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 1 entry
Location: Moray - UK
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Posting Time: 16 May 2008 at 7:44PM
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The Army found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for retirement a bonus of 1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of 72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with 96,000.
The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzled old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, 'From the tip of my todger to my testicles.' It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider; explaining about the nice big cheques the previous two officers had received. But the old Sergeant Major insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the Chief to 'drop 'em,' which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's todger and began to work back. Dear Lord!' he suddenly exclaimed, 'Where are your testicles?'
The old Sergeant Major replied, ' Basra .'
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