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xrheax
WeddingPath Big Sister:
4881 posts
Joined: 22 Jan 2008
Already Married!
Vendor Votes: 3
Blog: 8 entries
Location: Scotland - UK
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Posting Time: 17 Nov 2008 at 11:12AM
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Having children (The older the mother, the funnier this is!)
Being pregnant:
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your gynacologist confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your first born.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
Dummies/Pacifiers:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Activities
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the school gates to collect 1st and 2nd babies.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children
Swallowing Coins:
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
And always remember that grandchildren are God's reward for allowing your children to live!
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lauraanddave
Getting to the church on time:
355 posts
Joined: 28 Apr 2008
Already Married!
Vendor Votes: 3
Blog: 0 entries
Location: Yorkshire - UK
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Posting Time: 17 Nov 2008 at 11:29AM
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Thats so funny 
[*20TH FEBRUARY 2009*]
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Claire061007
WP Maven:
256 posts
Joined: 15 Sep 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 1 entry
Location: Ipswich - UK
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Posting Time: 17 Nov 2008 at 12:57PM
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I like that, its very funny and so true.
  
[I'm a Mummy to Thomas James]
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bigfatlondonwedding
WeddingPath Big Sister:
2012 posts
Joined: 25 Apr 2007
Already Married!
Vendor Votes: 2
Blog: 5 entries
Location: Middlesex - UK
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Posting Time: 17 Nov 2008 at 8:47PM
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They are very funny.
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kirkychic
WeddingPath Big Sister:
3546 posts
Joined: 10 Jul 2007
Already Married!
Vendor Votes: 1
Blog: 5 entries
Location: W. Lothian - UK
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Posting Time: 18 Nov 2008 at 1:14AM
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Ah so true expecially the bit about the clothes
[loves her hubby & being Mrs Ward]
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Orla
WeddingPath Big Sister:
2595 posts
Joined: 07 Dec 2006
Already Married!
Blog: 113 entries
Location: Cadiz - xx
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Posting Time: 18 Nov 2008 at 8:41PM
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My mother thought this was hilarious - she had 5 kids, I got to be the mollycoddled numero uno!
[Vivan los Novios!]
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MrsKirkham
Margos Best Friend:
676 posts
Joined: 26 Sep 2007
Already Married!
Blog: 0 entries
Location: Leeds - UK
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Posting Time: 19 Nov 2008 at 7:06PM
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That is so funny. My mum will love that. And being the oldest, I guess I got all the attention 
[Im a Mrs!]
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